I'm doing this because I'm busy

Okay, so, after a week away in the Ozarks in a little rustic cabin - where washing a pan in the rain was a fulfilling kind of work, I'm adjusting to being back into the sensory overload of every day life.  It's about that time when there are dishes to wash, and the kids are taking showers and need to be hurried along.  Thoughts of going back to work after two weeks off have been creeping into my head all day, and I'm feeling anxious.  There's camping gear that needs to go back into the basement, washed clothes that need to be put away, and a walk that Ruben and I want to take.  I feel busy.  And I'm posting this anyway.

Having time away gave me time with my thoughts.  It was a weird combination of not having personal space (a one room cabin with five other people), yet having the quiet and the slower pace that allows you to somehow focus and have a sort of "alone time" without being alone.  I bought the book "The Happiness Project" and am through about April in reading about a year-long project taken on by Gretchen Rubin.  It's inspired me and overwhelmed me all at the same time, but it got me thinking.  Cool.

I want to focus on what's important, and be less stressed.  I decided to check my work email, and found 24 emails waiting for me.  I'm proud to say I deleted the spam without reading it, responded to the couple of important ones, and now don't have to open a billion messages first thing tomorrow morning.  Three of the messages were from zenhabits.  One of them was the inspiration for this.  Leo talks about starting his blog when he didn't have time.  I never have time.  That's what it feels like, but I do.

This week made me realize that my time is sucked up by all kinds of busy craziness, but is it meaningful?  Gretchen says something in her book about days being long, but years being short.  How true!  I want to pay more attention to how I am using my days.  The kids are growing up fast, years are flying by, and at the end of it all, I want to know that I did more than just go through the motions.

Busy?  Cool.  I better do something.  I am adding this to my "Do it now" mantra.  If I feel too busy, I'll just do things anyway.  Probably easier said than done, but it's one excuse I'm going to work on putting away.  It's amazing how little time certain tasks take.  In reality, I am a master procrastinator.  I think I'll be less stressed if I just do crap and stop putting it off.  I am contemplating time limits, as well.  Seeing as I am very Dory-ish (as in Finding Nemo....the forgetful, distractible fish), I am hoping it will help to try to keep things short.  Check work email?  Yes.  Let it take over the rest of the night, and try to do everything that comes to mind as I read each email?  NO. 

Ah, yes, so Dory me... it's time to end this.  Hopefully by doing more, but in less time, and making sure most of the stuff I'm doing is meaningful and important, makes a difference.  :)

Honesty

Honesty's the best policy.
That's what they say, right?
But is it?  And who are THEY, anyway?
Do you want the truth?  Uh...
I just kinda threw up in my mouth.  A little. 
Honestly.

I'm a girl. 
Honest and pretty, right?
Is that what you expect from me?
If only life were that simple.

What a dilemma.  Raising three girls...
Brush your hair, brush your teeth, hurry up, don't be vain.
Uh... But do something with that hair.  Please?

What a pain, literally, right in my gut,
When what I feel and what I think and what I say and how I act...
Collide.

Organizing

Okay, so organizing is one of my favorite things to read about online.  This is kind of funny, because I think I'm really disorganized.  Maybe I can blame my lack of focus on the nonsense that goes on around me...

In the last two minutes... The teenager came in to see if she can have a friend over this weekend...The boy zipped away from the computer shouting, "Ooh, ooh, ooh!" on his way to the bathroom.  One kid is taking too long of a shower (I'm holding off on yelling up the stairs), and the other brought a scooter in the door, mad at it for apparently throwing her off of it, and went back outside.  Moon (our giant "blue" dog) was sneaking across the room trying not to get noticed for following the cat, who strutted across the room like he owned the place, teasing the dog.  Where was I?  :)  Exactly my point.

I read a post on facebook stating that you don't need a bunch of products from an organizing store to get organized.  This is what I've been trying to tell myself for a while.  I guess in my distaste for cleaning and organizing, I've tried to make it more tolerable by matching it with unnecessary shopping.  For example, my bathroom closet must be a mess because those cute wicker boxes at Target are so expensive, and if only I bought a bunch of them, I could stuff all the crap into cute boxes and my closet would be perfectly organized.  Uh, yeah. I know in the back of my little obsessive compulsive head that I don't need more "stuff" to organize my "stuff".  My problem is the STUFF.  :)  So... the new commitment is to figure out ways to clean, clear, and organize, given the stuff that I already have (and getting rid of much of the stuff I have).  And then, when my home reaches that glorious state of perfection that lies just around the corner (please insert funny "I know I'm full of crap" face here), I can justify dropping some money on something that will really make my house more of a home and serve some real purpose.

If anyone has ideas related to simplifying and getting rid of things, please share!  :)

A Start

I decided to blog based on my love of zenhabits.net.  There was a post recently about starting something.  For myself, often it's my perfectionism that keeps me from starting.  I don't know the perfect name...can't decide what my posts will offer people, etc.  This is my first step in dropping the perfectionism, and starting.  I am a self-proclaimed imperfect perfectionist.  In my quest to focus, I find myself with multi-tasking unavoidable.  I have an impatient (though sweet) eight year old literally hanging over my shoulder waiting to use the computer.  The TV is blasting, a child is playing piano, a husband is cooking and calling kids in from outside to eat.  It's a miracle I have any kind of thought to share.  But it's my start.  :)  From this, I suppose I hope to connect with other people who are on the same journey I am - craving simplicity, loving the complexity, trying to do right by my family while still figuring out how to keep myself together and my spirit focused on what is important.  Now that bossy (though sweet) eight year old says in my ear, "Publish post!"  Food is being served, and I need to end.  A start.  An end to the first post.  Twelve hands, six butts. (LOL) My life.  :)